Today started out with a really good work out.  A lady in my ward who used to teach aerobics professionally teaches a class three days a week at the stake center.  It is a really good workout and I can bring the kids and they can play while I work out.  

So I was excellent at breakfast, lunch was great but when dinner hit, oh man did I go wrong.  For some reason this has been my difficult time of day.  I can make it all day with healthy meals and snacks and then dinner hits and all hell breaks loose!  We went to Mom Dopp's for dinner tonight and she made my favorite, pot roast.   So now I need to really think of some ways to make it through dinner without ruining my day right at the last.  It is almost like I sabotage myself right at the last minute!  I am really frustrated with myself this week.  I know I can do this but I am just not following through.  I look at Ryan and Jennie and they are doing so well.  They are just do or die with this and that is what I want.  I want to make that commitment and follow through.  I just need to remember that this is the hardest time during this journey.  I have to make new habits.  I think all day long "I want this I can do this!"  and then they day goes on and I think "Do I really care?"  When I think of what I really want, it is to be healthy.  I don't want to be like my mom who has so many problems because she neglected to take care of herself for so many years.  I don't want my kids to be ashamed of me because I am overweight.  I want  to live a long life and be able to do active things with the girls.  I just need to make sure I remember that I want that more than I want banana cake at Mom Dopp's.