Weekend cleanup.

I do great Monday through Wednesday. Then comes Thursday and my convictions start to wane. If only the weeks were shorter, maybe I could keep it up. So I have come to some conclusions. I have become way too obsessed with the scale. I think about it so much that it just brings to mind all of the things I shouldn't be eating. And you know what happens then, you think it, you want to eat it. So anyway, I think I will be putting it away for a few weeks and concentrate more on how I feel.

It is funny how much better I feel both physically and mentally when I am eating right and exercising. I just need to concentrate on these feelings more and less about what the scale says. I think if I do, the scale will just come down on it's own. I have also realized something else about me. If I stay completely away from sweets, I can stay away much easier than if I just have a little!

I didn't run 3.5 miles last week. I felt like I could have today but got a late start so I only had time for 3.

So for the coming week these are my goals: Run 3.5 miles at least once. Exercise 5 times. Concentrate on eating healthy and stay away from sweets all week long. Yes that's right, all week!

Mission Accomplished!

I can't tell you how long I have been trying to break 148. 2 years ago, after I had Lilah I started my weight loss journey. I hit 148. 7 months ago, after having Kate I began again. I hit 148. Then I let my mind get the best of me and I began to think that there was no going below it. Well, NO MORE. This morning I saw 147! I am locked in now. It is amazing how hard it is to get in the groove, but once you do, it becomes easier and easier to stick to it. I met my goals of last week to go below 148 and to exercise 5 times. I think these short term goals are really good for me.

This weeks goal:

Run 3.5 miles once this week. Haven't gone farther than 3 (yet another mental block!)

Exercise 5 days this week.

See 145 on the scale.

Is that me???

Have you ever been in a class at the gym and thought, "Wow, someone stinks." You wonder if it is you. Then you don't smell it for a few minutes and think, "It can't be me!" Then, there it is again. Finally you try to do the sniff. You know, the one where you try to be discreet as you catch a wiff. And then you have confirmed it: It's me that smells!!!

Ahhhhhh, gotta love a good workout! The kind that makes you smell!

Goals for the week:

Exercise at least 5 times. 1 down, 4 to go

Break that 148 barrier that has been haunting me!

Alright already!

Do I would love to say that I have stayed away so long because I have just been so busy training for a marathon or something super healthy like that. But sadly, no! I think my absence all started when in one week I saw the scale go up about 5 pounds. In shock and disbelief I was very mad at myself. I hadn't really been eating that poorly and I was exercising but probably not as diligently as I should have. I tried to convince myself that it had something to do with that time of the month and was just water. Which actually I think that did play a part, but I am sure it was not all. Being so discouraged I didn't really want to talk about it all. Isn't that funny how we do that. We shy away from it at the very time we should be running to talking about it so we can get it all worked out in our minds. Anyway, needless to say I buckled down that week and had it all back off by the next week.

Now my biggest battle is stopping nursing. I haven't been able to have any milk products for so long that is scares me to be able to eat them. It was nice to have a reason to have to stay away. I keep telling myself that I still have a reason, a long lasting energetic life. However, that immediate consequence isn't there so it is not so easy. I just wish you could watch that chocolate slide down your throat and right onto your thighs. Wouldn't it be easier to stay away if the results were so fast?

I am sad to say that I have no weight loss to report. Well I do but it was just weight I had put on. Now I am concentrating on not being too hard on myself, but being more strict all at the same time. If that makes any sense at all! This morning I forced myself to run 3 miles. I have ran 2.5 before but never have made it to the 3 miles mark. I really wanted to give in at about 2 but just kept talking to myself to work it through. I was really proud to have been able to keep a 10 minute mile pace for the whole 3. Eating has been a struggle. I do well all day and then about 2 pm I crash and lose all will power. Today I have managed to stay away from the temptations. I guess if I can do it for Kate, I can do it for me!

Weighing Heavy

I have some thoughts that keep weighing heavy on my mind.  I know that weight loss is just as much mental as it is physical so I have been trying to pay close attention to the way I feel.  Here are some things that I know to be true.  

I know that when I get out of bed at 5 am and go to the gym, the rest of the day, I get more done and I feel so much better.  

I know that when I eat healthy, I feel great.

I know that when I crave sweets the most it is when I am really, really hungry.  If I eat a good meal, the sweets don't seem to call me as loud.

I know that I have a grab it fast problem.  When I am late or in a hurry (which seems to be too often)  I always want to grab something quick to eat.  For some reason, being late or busy means needing food for me.

2 to 4 pm is my trouble time.  Every treat in the house, or store for that matter, calls me during this time.  If I can make it through this I can have a good day.

I know that food is a social activity.  It is easy to over eat and justify it as a special occasion. There are far too many "special occasions" in my life! 

I keep trying to analyze the way I feel whenever I eat or want to.  Eventually I might get the hang of this all.

Excited TODAY!

The other day Jer looked at me and told me how good I was looking.  He asked if I was excited about it.  To him I replied that I didn't dare let myself get excited for fear that I would be complacent and become happy with where I am at.  This is when I had an ah ha moment.  He just looked at me and told me how silly that was.  He likened it to walking towards the sun on the horizon.  No matter how far we walk, we will never be any closer to it.  Why should I hold back my excitement for "the day" when I reach my weight loss goal.  After all, when I get there, it will be just in time to begin another goal.  You are right my love, I should be enjoying the journey and stop waiting for the moment when I arrive, because truthfully, I never will come to an ending spot, just a new horizon.

Now that I have unpacked the scale and finally have internet service again I can report.  As of this morning I was 150 and Today! I am ever so excited about that.   My goal of 130 by May 7th is coming quick.  All I have to do is keep up with about 2.5 pounds a week and I am there, just in time for my nephews wedding on May 14th, in Phoenix.  I feel a new swim suit coming on!  NO, not for the wedding, just the pool at the hotel silly!

Mondays stats

Workout for the week - carrying boxes.  Lots of them!

Mondays weigh in:  152.  Keep on keep'n on!  Maybe it is a good thing I did pack those Jr. Mints!    ;)

Single Digits!

I have been in double digit sizes for a very long time.  Size 16-18 has been me for years now.  But as of late, double digits are no longer.  I can finally fit in my size 8 jeans!!  In fact, I cleaned out my closet today and got rid of all of those old, fat cloths.  Just for fun I tried on some jeans that used to be my skinny jeans.  I was struggling to even button them up just 3 months ago.  Now they are so big that I can pull them up while they are still buttoned!  LOVE IT!

Making Each Day Count.

How easy it is to slip and then want to give up for the day and start anew the next.  I have decided that it is a scary practice to do this.  I have been really trying to keep up on things and picking up right after I have slipped.  I am finding that the longer I go, the easier it is to keep up with eating healthy and exercising.  Seeing the scale go down helps too.  You just don't want to see it climb back up again.  

Every morning when I hop on the tread mill at the gym I can't wait to put in my weight so it can calculate calories burned.  I am getting close to pushing the down arrow rather than the up!  Can't wait!

As of Monday, I weighed 154 so I am down 1 pound from last week.  I guess slow progress is better than no progress!

Slow progress!

I am still at it.  I just have had a hard time the past couple of weeks.  I was down with strep for a few days and the kids have been sick.  I have decided that I have to start going to the gym while Jer is still home in the morning.  I was getting up at 4:30 am for a week so I could feed the baby and then go to the gym.  I tried going to the gym without feeding her first one day and she woke up and freaked on Jer for an hour.  So I took a week off to get better and get the baby on a better sleeping schedule.  Now she is sleeping 12 hours and will sleep right through me going to the gym at 5 am.  I am excited to be going in the early am instead of right in the middle of my morning.  It will be nice to get home at 6:30 and be able to get right on the day without interrupting my day to go to the gym.  

As of yesterday, I was at 155.  Since I have been sick, it may be down a little but let's hope I can hold on to this and go down from there.

Struggling!

Ok, so as of last Thursday I am struggling. Part of me just wants to throw in the towel. How is it that we can have such strong convictions one moment and no desire the next? I do great each day until about 2 pm. After that I am just hungry, stressed and have a lot to do. That is when it seems easier to give up and start anew tomorrow. I think it is a lack of planning and a lack of good snack choices. Part of me is just so sick of being so limited on food choices. Not only am I trying to limit myself to healthy choices, I also have the limit of no dairy too. So I feel like there is nothing left on my list to eat.

So here is to a reminder of my goal: 130 by May 7th. NO more days to waste!

Report for last week. No gain, no loss.

Hour glass!

In my effort to achieve an hour glass figure, I am noticing a lot of sand slipping through that hour glass.  I am at the point now of trying to balance exercise and everything else.  Let's face it, it is not easy to carve out a few hours of your day with a new endeavor.  Especially with already having time taken with the addition of a newborn.  So, I just keep plugging away at the gym but keep feeling more and more behind in other areas.  I keep telling myself that I deserve to take care of myself and that I have to if I want to have the health to do the other things.  It is still just this constant battle going on in my mind of how to do it all.  I have finally come to the conclusion that something has to give and the gym isn't it.  So now is the task of decided what gets done and what will go by the wayside.

I have decided to do an official weigh in every week now so here is Monday's official results:

2 pounds down bringing me to 158!  Yeah!  By goal is to be 130 lb by May 7th.  That gives me 2 pounds a week.  So here goes to a new start!

Treadmills

When you think of it treadmills are kind of a funny thing.  You run to no where.  But for some reason I really like it.  I like to know how far I have gone, how fast and just how many calories I have burned and watching the t.v helps too.  I have decided to really challenge myself with cardio lately.  This is really silly, but I imagine what some of the people on biggest loser go through and somehow it makes me want to kick it in to gear.  I have a new rule for myself that no matter how winded I get, I cannot walk.  I have to at least slow jog.  So today I wanted to see how fast I could run.  I ran for a few minutes at 8.5 which is more than I have done before.  I was surprised to find out that it wasn't so difficult after all.  So my next goal on the treadmill is to go 3 miles running at least at 5.5.  Oh, and instead of pushing the up button when it asks for your weight so it can calculate your calories, I want to use the down button!  

Resurrecting!

I have been thinking about resurrecting this blog for some time now.  I just feel like I have a lot of weight loss garbage floating around in my head that would be good to get out on paper.  I stopped blogging here in October 2008 because we were trying to get pregnant and didn't want to be obsessing about weight at the time.  Now, aside from nursing Kate, my body is mine.  NO more pregnancies to look to.  I have to take care of myself now so I can have more energy and time with my sweet girls.  

I feel like I have been here before.  Go figure???  Since having Kate I have lost 25 pounds.  Now I have 12 pounds  to lose before I get down to my pre-Kate weight.  (I know if you do the math I gained 37 pounds.  OUCH! And then after that I have a goal to lose 18 more pounds so in all I have 30 more pounds to lose.  UUUUGGGH!  That sounds like a lot.   

I think the biggest mental block I have now is getting myself to believe that it is all possible.  I know I can get to my pre-Kate weight, because I have been there before.  But beyond that, I am not sure if I truly believe deep down that I can go further.  I think this all stems from the fact that I have never been an ideal weight.  I don't think ever!  So this is a true stretch for my imagination.  Going somewhere I have never been before.  So, how do I make myself believe?