Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Getting Over the Guilt

I had a picture perfect day yesterday.  I exercised.  I ate perfect.  I even managed to dodge Mom's chocolate chews and to die for chocolate cake.  I even had a diet Coke when everyone else had ice-cream after Neeley's preschool graduation.

So why did I find myself with this load of guilt on my mind last night in bed.  I think I have become so accustomed to having the guilt that even when it is not warranted, I still create it in my mind.  You hear people talk about getting a payoff from things, that's why they do it.  Well, I have been thinking a lot about my payoffs lately trying to decipher exactly what they are.  I am starting to see that one of them is this feeling of guilt.  I know this sounds crazy to be a payoff, but it is like a kid seeking attention even if it is bad attention.

This losing weight thing is oh so mental.  Now I have to find a way to turn guilt into pride.

1 comment:

Jennie said...

Jen, you are awesome. Having one picture perfect day in an accomplishment in itself. I think a meal is hard, let alone a whole day. Way to go sista!